Frustration

Dictionary.com defines frustration as

1. a feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression, resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems.

That is where I am today. And where I have been the past few days. Ever since I got back from Canada, I have not been able to have normal dreams. And I have not been able to get a full good nights sleep for almost a week now. I have so many things juggling through my head. I was so scared to open my planner cause I was scared that if I looked at the dates, that they would just start juggling around. I have yet to put in the important dates cause I don't want to worry about that stuff yet til after Oct 1st.

I finally got a job, but I was scared that it was going to cut into my studying. But they understood and said I could come back on the 2ND. (one down). My friend's problems, but I got a call last night saying everything was resolved. (another one down). I think those were my main frustrations until today. My car dies. I had a feeling she was gonna kick rocks this morning when i couldn't get her to stay on. But my dumb ass still tried to drive her. Sure enough, as soon as i turned the corner, my steering wheel totally locks up and I'm forced to turn to the next road, barely missed hitting another car. Sure enough, she dies in the middle of a residential road. My frustration builds. So many things were running through my head at that point. "whats this going to cost me? How am I going to move my car?I SO DON'T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW! How would I get to work? How am I going to get to Pasadena to take my test?" so sure enough i tried to start her again, she shakes and dies. So I tried to push the car myself... ugh yeah.. I'm not strong enough. So I called Niel, (went to look for cables and was on his way) EJ (since he owed me many favors, but he was in class), Matt (he was at work), and then Bobi (but his phone was off, but finally called me). I luckily got my car started somewhat just enough to move to the shade. Bobi finally shows and so did Niel. At the end of it all, it turns out something just drained my battery and it wasn't that i needed a new alternator or battery. So another frustration done.

Finally got to the library to study for another 5 hours. I can't wait til this is all done and i can start to work. As Niel puts it "he finally has a suga momma"... damn straight!